The ritual wedding is important and appropriate because it represents prosperity
of cultures and spirits of the society resulted from delicate mind of the perceptive
Thai ancestors. Creatures naturally posses sexual desire and need to breed.
Therefore, the difference between human and animals has to be made. At the same
time, to suite Thai cultures and obey the law, the conditions for persons who
are getting married are necessary.
Conditions for marriage
1. Both parties must
be at least 17 years old unless appropriate reasons authorized by Court. (Claus
1448).
2. Either one or both
parties must not possess insanity or ordered by Court to be a person with
incapability (Claus 1449).
3. Both parties must
not be either in the same family or bled, regardless of law compatibility.
4. Foster child is not
allowed to marry foster parent.
5. A married person is
not allowed to remarry.
6. A widow can remarry
only after
the marriage has been
ended at least 310 days or
she, at the mean time,
has already delivered her child or
she remarry to her
ex-husband or
she possess a confirmation
letter from a doctor, with degree or certificate, stating that she is not
pregnant, and
she is authorized by
court to remarry
7. The condition, Claus
1455, regarding the consent of parents or guardians (Claus 1436) states that
the consent of marriage can be made by signing in the marriage registration.
The parents' consent letter contains names of both getting-marry persons and
signed by the persons who give consent. If truly necessary, verbal consent
can be made before at least two witnesses. The signed consent letter cannot
be withdrawn.
8. The marriage is legal
only when the registration is completed.
Auspiciousness For the happiness and prosperity of bride and groom, The auspiciousness
for the wedding is necessary. Relatives on both sides will take date and time
of birth of bride and groom to the astrologer to find the appropriate auspiciousness
and to foresee whether bride and groom suited to live together in happiness
and prosperity. If so, the astrologer would select an auspicious time for the
wedding. Most selected times are in the even months (2, 4,6 etc.). The word
"even" is pronounced in Thai language as "Khu", which means "a couple or a mate".
So the purpose of getting married in even month (or Khu month) is to wish both
bride and groom would be living together forever. This does not include the
12th month because, in Thai belief, this month is the month for dogs to breed.
The presence of the moon is also involved with this belief of auspiciousness.
The waxing moon (the period from new moon to full moon), representing brightness
and prosperity, is regarded better than the waning moon (the period from full
moon to new moon), representing darkness. Sometimes the 9th month is selected
because the "9", pronounced in Thai language as "Kao" meaning stepping ahead,
represents prosperity. The most favorite month is the 6th month because it is
the beginning of rainy season. The atmosphere is so perfect to be close to each
other. Also, at this time, Thai people begin to practice agriculture. A newly
married couple can build up their new family together.
Preparation
for the settlement demand The settlement is essential
for the marriage. The groom's parent must prepare the settlement and bring to
the bride's home in the morning and at the selected auspicious time. However,
the time for the parade of the settlement is not strict nowadays. Normally,
people choose a time that is convenient for them. The settlement is consisted
of ;
1. Primary settlement : Single
or dual, depending on local culture. Mostly containing piper betel, money
or gold as for bride's parent, auspicious elements such as beans, sesame,
paddy, Bai tong(gold leaves) , Bai ngoen (silver leaves), Dok ruk (love flowers),
Dok ban mai ru roey (forever lasting flower), Dok dowruang (shining star flowers),
roses etc., which implicitly have auspicious meanings. These elements are
prepared in pairs so that they look auspiciously beautiful, implied by the
word "Khu" (a pair or a couple). In Kalasin, a province in the northeast of
Thailand, the settlement is separated into two parts. One part contains money,
regarded as cost for mother's milk, wrapped or packed with the amount of 49
Baht. The other part contains gold, bracelets, and engagement ring. Practically,
there are two more parts of settlement containing piper betel, betel palm,
and containing auspicious elements.
2. Secondary settlement. Containing
food and candies, including other necessary elements such as liqueur, banana
trees, and sugar cane stems. These elements are also prepared in pairs and
beautifully decorated. The tradition at some places may not include general
food but, instead, belly pork and candies that are to be used at the ceremony
are preferred. This method is more flexible. Unforgettable elements are liqueur,
banana trees, and sugar cane stems.
On the
wedding day, the groom and his mates lead the parade of wedding settlements
to the bride’s house. The bride’s relatives traditionally bar the path for 4
times. Two barriers represent golden gates, whereas the other two represent
the silver gates.. Two barriers may be generally accepted. Golden necklace or
silver belts are used to represent the barriers. The groom is traditionally
greeted and questioned before he is allowed to pass each barrier. At the last
barrier, just before entering or stepping into the house, there are two girls
awaiting to traditionally sprinkle water to the groom’s feet. The groom is supposed
to pay money to persons who form the barrier. The traditional sprinkling water
to the groom’s feet is the last stage of the wedding settlement parade. Inside
the bride’s house, it is an acceptance ceremony for the wedding settlement.
The bride is traditionally supposed to pay the persons, who carry the primary
and secondary settlement. Generally, it is emphasized in paying for the primary
The
ceremony of sprinkle waterThis
ceremony can be proceeded in various ways, regarding the hosts' convenience.
The ceremony for sprinkle water is proceeded in the morning just after the ritual
ceremony. Only respectful senior relatives are first invited, then the guests.
The ceremony can be proceeded in the evening, regarding the guests' convenience.
This concern is thoughtful because there are more traffic problems for people
living in Bangkok than those living in provinces. Bride and groom should be
at the ceremony well before the appointed time.
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There must be an altar at the ceremony, for auspicious reasons. The altar is
normally on the right of the groom. At the appointed auspicious time, the bride
and groom would go into the ritual room together with 2 bride mates and 2 groom
mates. After paying respect to the altar, the bride and groom would be sitting
at a prepared bench, then place their arms on pillows and stretch their hands
towards pedestals. The bride sits on the left and the groom sits on the right.
The head of the ceremony wears each one a necklace of flowers and a pair of
garland, then, anoints their foreheads, and sprinkle holy water on their hands.
The guests were then invited to sprinkle holy water, starting from the most
senior. After the ceremony of sprinkle water, the hosts can take off garland
by themselves or invite the head of the ceremony to take it off for them. The
bride and groom will kept this garland at their bed's head. Then there is a
thanking party for guests. This concludes the wedding ceremony. They wait for
the auspicious time to present the bride to the groom, as tradition. The senior
relatives preach the bride to take care, to respect, and to be loyal to her
husband. Then they bring the bride to the groom and preach the groom to love,
to take care, to be loyal, and to treat his wife as a good husband. The bride
and groom then pay obeisance to their senior relatives. Their parents could
give them another homily. The groom would pay obeisance to both side parents.
This concludes the marriage ceremony. Everybody then leaves the bride and groom's
room in order to let them rest after having been through a tiring day.
The end of marriageThe
marriage ends when one party dies or there is a divorce. The reasons that can
be excuses for getting divorce are;
1. If the wife is having an affair or
the husband is treating other woman as equal as his legal wife, the spouse
can sue requesting a divorce.
2. The husband or wife committed misconduct,
against or not against the law, and cause serious humiliation or any unacceptable
damages to the spouse, concerning their marriage status, can be a reason to
sue requesting a divorce.
3. The husband or wife attacked or cause
injury, physically or mentally, or insult the spouse or spouse's parent. If
this incident is serious, it can be a reason for suing to request a divorce.
4. The husband or wife has intentionally
left their spouse more than a year.
5. The husband or wife is announced disappeared
by court orders.
6. The husband or wife has not been reasonably
treated or has committed any behavior that seriously cause instability of
their marriage. If this action cause unacceptable hardship to the spouse,
concerning their marriage status, it can be a reason to sue requesting a divorce.
7. The husband or wife has been unrecoverable
insane for more than three years, and this insanity causes unbearable life
of marriage to their spouse.
8. The husband or wife broke the intact
parole stating in the letter of conduct.
9. The husband or wife possesses any
serious and incurable contagious disease that can infect and harm their spouse,
it can be a reason to sue requesting a divorce.
There are always problems in most family, more or less depending on the situation
of that family. The incident of divorce can only happen when spouses lack of
understanding and endurance, or they are committing adultery, or the relationship
is interfered by the third party, or their estrangement, living together for
months without sexual relationship as husband and wife, these incidents can
all cause a divorce. In the present society, the unbalanced sexual relationship
causes a lot of divorces. However, the spouse must try to keep their marriage
status as long as possible to avoid to unwanted consequences, especially for
the family and their children's mental health. With this reason, the tradition
of marriage must be seriously taken to preserve and well studied in order to
keep this culture to last forever. The family is the first unit in the society
that can most effectively cultivate social believes, traditions, and cultures.
So, before we are to create a new family, we need to understand that how many
types of marriage how each type of marriage works because marriage is, as mentioned
before, the way to create a family.
Types of marriage:several experts
have acknowledged two types of marriage, namely, Wiwahamongkol and Awahamongkol.
But since the Thai society and human's mind have changed as time goes by. Individual
concerns only the profit for them, not the society. The consequence is selfishness,
presently causing chaos in Thai society. In the writer's opinion, the additional
type of marriage is that both people, without permission from their parents,
flee to set their own family, so called Wiwahor (Wiwa = marriage, hor
= flee). This type of marriage is widely conducted in Thai society at present,
which is not appropriated because it does not follow our exquisite Thai culture.
Wiwamongkol is
the really Thai traditional marriage. The wedding ceremony is held at the
bride's home. After the ceremony is completed, the groom will be living with
the bride's family i.e. father in-law and mother in-law. This type is popular
in rural area or conservative family, which consider the traditional way is
right, good, and accepted by the society. For newer generation, young people
require more freedom, not to live with their parents after marriage because
they want to be a leader of the family so they would be prouder. With this
reason, in present Thai society, single family is more preferable than expanded
family.
Awahamongkol is
the Chinese or Indian style, which the bride must go to the groom's home for
the wedding ceremony. After they already got married, the wife must live with
the husband's family. Thai women do not like this type of marriage because
they lack of freedom, unlike living with her own parent. However, some women
may like this way, regarding the necessity and suitability of the social status.
If the groom's family is wealthy and well known in the society whereas the
bride's family is not that rich then she, therefore, voluntarily come to live
with the groom's family, provided that the groom's parent do not dislike her
and the groom does not have too many relatives.
Wiwahomongkol is
not a ceremonial and unauthorized marriage. Both man and woman agree to live
together as husband and wife with only love and understanding. So it is not
necessary to hold the wedding at either the woman's home or the man's home.
This type of marriage resulted from the dislike between the two families,
the contradiction, or the failure to reach an agreement. But since the two
people love each other, so they are forced to flee to start their own family
independent from both parents' family. After they have a baby, they will come
back for forgiveness from their parents. If parents see that they can happily
create a new family on their own, forgiveness is always possible. However,
according to Thai tradition, this type of marriage is hardly acceptable by
parents and Thai society. In contrary, it is a simple and economic marriage
since it does not have to spend on unnecessary elements. Inevitably, they
have to admit the marriage registration in order to legalize their marriage.
This type of marriage is considerably better than living together before
they get married, which each person can just leave, without obligation,
if he/she find that they cannot truly get along each other. Some people favor
this type of marriage. Some couples do not actually flee from their parents,
they just live together without telling their parents'. However, their marriage
are legally registered.
